Today, I drew an Ensō. Every line of it, representing every move I made, everyone I left, everyone I loved and secretly changed. It stares at me as a reminder of what I was and what I can become. The light and dark war, the images I saw, the feelings I’ve known, everything it’s in its core. There are some lines more confident than others, there are some that never end, some stop and restart far away; there is continuity and discontinuity, the meaning and its opposite, always reminding me what life is and how nothing is ever totally finished. I could die today, but my words will stay. The energy will remain. I drew an Ensō today and I know it is not perfect. It’s pretty ugly you’ll say and I couldn’t deny it. Life is about vision and yours might be a hundred times different. But if you’re reading this, and wondering, then I have done something and that’s my meaning. Don’t take what I give you and accept it as the true, question everything about me, question yourself and hurt me too, find the truth you were meant to have and never look back. I drew an Ensō today, it took me all day, and it was an amazing escape.
‘I don’t know anything anymore’, she told me an October night, ‘since he left, I’m lost inside my routine, I don’t know how to do basic things like brushing my teeth or eating a meal. I don’t know how to survive so far from his side. I don’t feel right away from his arms. It amazes me how dependent I may be, how broken I truly admit.’
‘ You know girl? ‘, I replied after sipping my transparent wine, ‘ It’s okay to be lost. We all are. But you have everything you can depend of in front of you, and it is not me nor someone different from you. I’d do anything I could for your well being, but your wholeness I could never achieve. No-one can but you. We are our own masters, the writers of our world, we have everything we need inside our beings. There lies the truth. I know, believe me I do, what it is to love someone more than yourself, to think of more than you could imagine, but you can’t be his savior like he can’t be yours. You could help each other, but never be the answer. You think too much, and don’t see the clarity of it. You’re more than you think, you have to find what to accomplish. You’re human knowing how rare that it’s today. So keep loving baby, but do not forget to love yourself first. ‘
People are wrong,
It’s good to cry sometimes
It’s good to shout once in a while,
It’s recommended to write long lines.
We have everything we need
Inside our tired, absent beings
There’s no thought that can’t be
Built inside these walls we seek.
But you have to let yourself
Be the person you pretend,
Your weaknesses is your power
Now go, darling, light your fire!
Burn yourself inside of it
Feel the bad tear you up and weep
Sweetheart, weep now, it is time
To reborn from the ashes
Of what your soul crashes.
Don’t be afraid please,
I promise it’d be worth it,
Take these sad verses
And make them sonnets
About two stupid lovers
That the World curses.
I know you can’t hear it
But at least know this,
There’ll always be rhymes
About your whereabouts
But it’s your mission
To change our vision.
So you know?
People are wrong
It’s good to feel nostalgic
It’s better to free your magic.
Join me under the rain
Let’s go insane,
I’ll be back in a minute
When we end the dispute.
I know we said we’ll be different
Know you don’t see a difference
But every time I start thinking
I know this time we did it right.
I’m not gonna run this time
From everything that made me alive
It was the best time of my life
And nothing will change that.
I could drown myself in whisky
If I knew that you miss me
I could suffocate my being in smoke
If I knew you forgot.
But now I accept it
As I was rejected,
Cause life is about time
And we run too far
Way too fast, sweetheart.
You were an escape
And I lost my way,
But I’m starting
To find myself
You made me see that life
Is still worth living,
And now I can say things out loud,
Appreciate the giving.
There’s still beauty in this world
As you said precious little girl,
We can always reborn
And make something of all the dust
That have ruined this one lifetime for us.
I was always good for love letters,
What a soul she had
What an amazing ass!
I don’t know why but I remember,
How you used to eat my cock
How you liked to be choked
And even the kisses on your neck
As my hands turned it red.
Red, red, holy red
You were, fuck, you were
Amazing on that white dress,
Your ass finding its way
To make me hard again.
There were moments where
Anywhere would be a good place
You will play and I would gamble again,
Time was limitless.
You produced that smell
And I couldn’t see clear from there
But the shadow of your pleasure
Made me go on whithout measure.
Your eyes growing every time,
How beautiful it is to look someone
Right in the eyes as you enter its spirit,
My soul grew bigger with you in it,
Dreaming of your panties
Drunk but never in parties.
I was always good for love letters,
What an extraordinary soul
Look those legs how they’re long!
And what about what’s inside?
Fuck I’m losing my mind one more time.