On fear 

I keep giving too much of myself 

To a person I’ve just met;

And confidence was my only blame 

When everyone just turned me insane. 

Her presence, the feel of her eyes 

Touching mines, exploring as they hide 

Makes me feel safe, and understood;

But how can I change, if I’m always so tense. 

How can I imagine a world 

Where innocence reings 

When everything I’ve ever experienced

Was pain, dust and misery. 

I love to look into those eyes,

And feel your soul, getting to mine,

But is this too much ? 

Or am I just some jerk

That lies to himself 

More than he trust the outset ? 

My mind runs crazy

Everytime I’m with you,

My lungs feel absorbed 

By the beating of your heart

As you lie there, head down

Into the surface of my chest. 

Do you really want to know what’s behind

These cold, strange, uncertain eyes ? 

Don’t you fear the demons you could find ?

Are you prepared for the battle I’ve fought my whole life ?

‘Cause Heaven is just a dream, 

But Hell lives inside of me

And every night you are not by my side

The demons keep slowly growing high 

Climbing the montain of my lies

Sleeping with the princess 

I once had.

The need for nature 

Why is it so difficult 

In today’s society 

To just feel the cult 

And forget the prophesy. 

The one that tell us 

That we are trapped 

In the hands of time 

And wasting our life. 

Why is it 

That the only thing I want 

Is so simple 

Therefore there is mystery. 

Your soul I’m missing 

Your arms so strong for that body, 

Your eyes so beautiful for that oddly 

Face you like to wear. 

Could real love be crashed by this World ?

Could time tear appart everything we fought for? 

Could you feel the words I write inside you? 

The ones I never mentioned before meeting you?

I am losing my mind 

As happiness is trying to grow 

And it gets pulled out by this World, 

That seems so uncertain

And constantly unpleasant 

Compared to the poetry I forge. 

So when you see me next time 

Don’t fool me or ask me 

About the legendary advent 

That never made me its way to me 

Between all this petrified scent 

That comes out of my mouth. 

How can I know that I’m right 

If I can’t contemplate it from far, 

Away from this sad sad faces 

Melting into Nature laces, 

Fighting the forgiveness 

Away with my loneliness. 

Red wined demons 

Like red wine leans over a glass 

My greater demon keeps coming back. 

From behind my head 

There’s voices everywhere 

That tell me to fuck over 

That everyone is a goner. 

Every single day 

Every single place 

I go to, or think of 

Makes me feel you 

And adore you. 

I see light come from inside 

Of your body and your arms, 

I feel your pain embrace mine 

And hug it like it’s Christmas time. 

Every time I’m with you

Touching with only one finger 

Every part of your soul 

Of that body made by Lucifer, 

I am told a whole different World, 

Your lips make me feel, and relieve 

All the bad I think about the man I’ll be, 

You made me better, 

You still do

Every day you get me, 

I’m your private zoo. 

But every night you’re far from my home

Every time your shinning star is gone 

These demons come back into my life 

And every though I ever wished to have 

Is gone like this cold old red-lighting wine. 

All my so-called happiness 

Acts like two magnets

With the touch of the bottle 

That doesn’t have a partner. 

So I need you darling, 

I need the feel of you

Lying on my chest so much

I’m not feeling my arms. 

I need some lighting, 

Some new ways of fighting 

These demons behind me;

I need you to take me, 

Entirely, completely and 

To show me the slow March 

Of the broken ones.

Conversation with a broken lady #20

‘Qu’est-ce que l’amour ?’, me demanda-t-elle un soir étoilé, ‘peut-on comparer l’ amour que l’on ressent par notre couple à celui que l’on ressent par un visage familier ou amical ? Peut-on aimer et être aimé sans être hypocrite ? Sans penser à la suite ? L’amour n’est-il pas une invention humaine ou divine créé pour consoler nos âmes solitaires? J’ai aimé et j’ai ressentie être aimée mais est-ce correct ? Je sais pas quoi penser de l’amour dans un monde où l’intérêt personnel se bat toujours avec des meilleures armes et que l’intérêt général les fondamentaux de l’amour écrase.’

‘L’amour est une paradoxe’, je lui ai répondu noyé dans le ciel noire si éclairé, ‘regarde là-haut, chaque étoile représente une infinité de lumière, une immensité de chemins à emprunter et le ciel représente chaque vide que t’as pu jamais ressentir. Tu vois ? Le ciel reste toujours plus ample, il semble plus fort comme un énorme géant; pourtant ce n’est pas le noir que tu observe actuellement mais seulement l’énorme lumière que les étoiles et la lune affligeant a cette triste dôme qui les recouvre. Tu devrais te centrer à rechercher et goûter cet liquide lucide qui déroule doucement de ton âme et qui te dit de continuer à te battre et oublier les questions sans réponses, puisque ce sera que quand tu auras réussi à faire ceci que la colossal vérité du monde se présentera devant toi et toutes ces questions intraitables prendront tout leur sens. Et une fois ton ciel débordant d’étoiles, ton âme sera calme et le temps et l’amour n’iront plus de la main, sinon qu’ils marcheront à ton rythme si mystique.’