Conversations with a broken lady #5

“When I was a young little girl all I wanted was to grow up”, she told me as the cigarette smoke came out of her mouth, “I just wanted to be an grow up, you know? been 18, fall in love with every man I see, take the subway alone, live the romance I’ve always read about in my books and be free to do it, feel this freedom people talked about. And now that I’m older I realise that I’ve never been so wrong in my whole life. Life scares me. I don’t know what I am supposed to do, I never learn it in school. And now I am lost, lost in myself and I can’t find a way out. I just wish I was that little girl again, at least just for one day.”
“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry to tell you that you’ll never come back to your childhood, I’ve lost mine and believe me it’s gone for good. But sometimes, some things you do or some people you meet and love, will make you feel the way you felt as a child. That’s what you must seek on. I’ve been lost too, too many times in my life to keep the count, but if you’re lost it’s just to be found, by someone or by yourself. And that’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget. So don’t think about the past, love the people you want to love, feel the things as you want to feel them, just live your life and at some point you’ll met that young girl you used to be and you’ll be proud of the woman it has become.”

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