Conversations with a broken lady #6

“How do you do it?” she asked me as the lights turned off, “how can you forget someone that you spent so long thinking about every day, every single minute ? How can you possibly expect to forget the life you imagined for you two ? Tell me, please, ’cause I don’t know how. I thought I was strong, that I could fight any battle, but then he asked me to stop fighting, and how am I supposed to stop fighting if everything in my life made me become a warrior ? All I wanted was to be near him, feel his perfume and just live it that way. But people leave you, and then you are presuppose to keep going with your life, like nothing happened. I don’t know if I can do it; how someone who is supposed to love you can hurt you this way ? I’m too tired and I can’t take it anymore.”
“You can’t. I’ve tried my whole life to forget lovers that went away, and all I have left is the memories. You must learn from these people, not forget them – because you can’t. They loved you, at least for a time, share moments with you, and made you feel special, didn’t they ? People are bad to each other, and right now, what you are feeling is one of the worst feeling you’ll ever experience but you’ll feel better soon or later. Learn your lesson, be careful to who you give your heart to but keep been who you are. I don’t know how people do it, I don’t know how they pass from loving you to hurting you like no one did. People that you care about are sensitive to hurt you. So take care of yourself and don’t give up, someday I hope you’ll find someone with whom everything is going to be easy, and all this suffer will be fruitful.”

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Chasing stars

I chased your eyes
looking at mines
they were like golden globes
asking for a pause.
You said my name
but I could not hear
I want you back
I want your heart.
I loved the way
your eyes closed
everytime we were awake
kissing at dawn.
You were so beautiful
Fighting the stars
your hair astonished
every single man.
And for once
I thought
you could be mine
but now you’re gone
and I neglect
to admit you’ll never
be back.

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Conversations with a broken lady #5

“When I was a young little girl all I wanted was to grow up”, she told me as the cigarette smoke came out of her mouth, “I just wanted to be an grow up, you know? been 18, fall in love with every man I see, take the subway alone, live the romance I’ve always read about in my books and be free to do it, feel this freedom people talked about. And now that I’m older I realise that I’ve never been so wrong in my whole life. Life scares me. I don’t know what I am supposed to do, I never learn it in school. And now I am lost, lost in myself and I can’t find a way out. I just wish I was that little girl again, at least just for one day.”
“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry to tell you that you’ll never come back to your childhood, I’ve lost mine and believe me it’s gone for good. But sometimes, some things you do or some people you meet and love, will make you feel the way you felt as a child. That’s what you must seek on. I’ve been lost too, too many times in my life to keep the count, but if you’re lost it’s just to be found, by someone or by yourself. And that’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget. So don’t think about the past, love the people you want to love, feel the things as you want to feel them, just live your life and at some point you’ll met that young girl you used to be and you’ll be proud of the woman it has become.”

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