“Someone has to teach you how to see the magic” she told me, “the magic you used to believe in when you were a child, the magic you saw before reality slapped you in the face with all its atrocity and madness. The magic that makes you believe in fairy tales, in goodness and romance.”
“I believe I have forgotten the magic you talk about, and I never really realize until it was too late, until it was dead. Some people have already spoken to me about this magic, how there’s humans that can bring it back to you. I never believed them until I saw her. She made me mad sometimes but I feel like she made an actual difference to my world. A good change. But these people you talk about they leave you at some point as the magic does. And I can’t be certain she will come back.”
It was raining that day. She didn’t have to say a word, she had a look in her eyes that made me understand what was wrong, feel what she was feeling.
“You know, I’ve never liked my eyes ” she dare to tell me, “I see people with beautiful eyes every day; green, blue, even a kind of yellow I never knew about, and me, I am here with my ordinary brown eyes. They say that you can see the soul of a person within their eyes, all these people I meet every day may have such a good soul! Clear like water, pure like childhood. But I’m not like them, I feel like I don’t fit correctly.”
“Would you stop hurting yourself at least for once? ” I told her, “you complain about your eyes but you don’t know that they inspire thousand and thousands of poems, like Greek goddesses or strange planets. Beauty can not be define, trust me I’ve tried to. And you just can’t say that your eyes aren’t part of all this natural beauty you talk about, brown is the color of the earth, our mother and the beginning of all fights. I look into your eyes, and I found thousands of questions, but certainty too, I can feel your soul and I know it’s the purest I’ve ever seen. You need to keep fighting all this rules society wants to impose you and worry less. You need to keep the heart alive.”
I look at the sky
To keep me company
Rivers of smoke
Taking off my soul
And gusts of water
Drowning our fire.
We must remember
The time we got together
So we can live life
Like we were alive.
Life goes on
Shine, my beauty, shine!
Shine even if you’re not mine.
“I think I have an illness, I may be sick”, her lips moved, “I give my heart immediately in every relationship I start, to friends, family, lovers.. And at the end, they all treat it badly, give kicks ’till it’s stops to scream for something it’s never going to get. They just take it, brake it and don’t care then. I am sick, sick of love. I should stop giving that much to people that don’t seem to appreciate it, shouldn’t I? ”
” Oh, girl, what you have it’s not an illness, it’s a blessing. But every blessing comes with a curse. Yours is to suffer for all the bad in this world, you’ll met wonderful humans, that would actually appreciate you, even love you, but everything has to come to an end, that’s life and there’s nothing we can do about it. And no, you shouldn’t. Even if it’s clear that you will suffer for this, all these people you loved once have a piece of your heart with them, they carry it on like their own shoes, you marked them and they’ll never forget you and at the same time you will always remember them; they took your heart but never forget that they made you feel alive, loved at least for a while. They gave you some very good times, showed you the best parts of life. And for a time, you meant everything to their lives.”
“There’s a problem with life” she told me, “people enter into your world, you first like them, you fall in love and then, one day, they’re just gone. And you must try your whole life to forget them so you can keep going, but you can’t really do it, ’cause the feeling will always be there, hunting, like ghosts in the most private cell of your heart.”
“But, my darling, don’t you know that all these people you meet, like and hopefully fall in love with brought you an incredible present everytime you met them? They made you learn more and more about yourself, making mistakes or cutting the corners, they made you kneel and cry, but also stand up and walk, they helped you to learn how to live with yourself and that, my love, is everything you could hope to achieve in your life.”